Happy Birthday Clancy!

Happy birthday to my gorgeous girlfriend CLANCY (not her real name, but what I am now calling her)

Have a fantastic day.

Love your forever!!!

Rant, rant, rant

If you don't want to read anything about me ranting about my weight then don't read on.

Rant Start.

I am officially over it! The worst thing about my medication is this weight gain. Before I started taking it I wasn't even a size 6 now I am creeping slowly up, more and more to a sz 12 pants and sz 14 top! What annoys me more is you can't lose the extra weight when you are on the meds...

I feel like a blob.

I had to get some things for the husband today. I tried on this dress which looked nice that I thought I could wear to my friends birthday party. I faced the harsh changing room. I didn't realise my thighs looked like that. I knew my tummy was bad (worst problem area), but it is worse than what I thought. I seem to sag. I tried on the dress, it made me look pregnant. I left the store.

It seems stupid to complain about your body weight when you want to get pregnant and are going to put on a huge belly...I'm just not used to being this big.

So I still have nothing to wear to this party....hmmm..

Rant over.

Breaking that spending ban.

Well I scored some money recently and decided to buy some stuff.

I needed to get one of my best friends a birthday present. Done. Can't post what it is on here as she will read it and find out.

One of my favourite Aussie handmade site is www.summerblossom.com.au - they make beautiful hair  accessories. I recently got this item.

Lilac Blossom Wrap (RRP: $15)

The flower is handmade with 100% silk organza. It is beautiful. 

For free they also sent me;

Arctic Rose Bobby Pins (RRP: $5)

You should definatly check out their shop, it is so beautiful. Just for your info, those pictures belong to www.summerblossom.com.au

I also got MAC Blot Powder in "Medium"... which is a pressed powder that I love.

<3

No Makeup VS Makeup

Never do I post pictures of myself with no makeup on...there is a first time for everything.

I want to show you the power of makeup. Now, for this...as I did it at night, I didn't do any eye makeup or any lipstick (just a bit of balm as my lips are drying out in this weather).


No makeup!! (you can click to make the picture bigger)

You may not be able to tell from this photo but I have pimples (like I always do) and uneven skin tone.

This is me after some makeup.

What I used:

Clarins Everlasting Foundation

MAC Cosmetics Studio Finish SPF 35 Concealer

Maybelline Pressed Powder

A tad of MAC Cosmetics Beauty Powder in "Smooth Harmony" to contour

My new Physician's Formula Happy Booster™ Glow & Mood Boosting Blush in "Natural"

A tad of MAC MSF in "Porceline Pink" to give it the glowy look.

MAC "Concrete" eyeshadow on my brows.

If I had more time I would have put eyeshadow on as well. Oh well.

blush, blush...happy blush?

Physicians Formula - Happy Booster™ Glow & Mood Boosting Blush in 'Natural'

I love hearts!!!

I don't believe this is for sale in Australia yet but I got this from the US after a friend reviewed it. This products comes in a variety of colours. I chose to get 'Natural'. The product is a little different as it is meant to make you happy. According to the website;

"Infused with our Happy Boost Blend, featuring Happy Skin and Euphoryl, natural plant extracts which have been shown to promote a feeling of happiness by mimicking the effect of Endorphins and helping protect the skin from environmental stress."

Hmmm whilst I don't think that actually works I think this is a fantastic blush. I adore it. It smells lightly of violets which may turn some people off. I love the light scent though.

The bottom of the compact opens up where you will find a little brush (which I don't use) and a cute little mirror.

What the colours look like mixed together.

I really want more now. The have a pink one which I believe is called "Rose" and "Light Bronzer"...I think there are 5 or 6 colours all up.

They retail for $US13.95 - I paid a little less then that on US eBay even with shipping! Bargain!!

Can we trust anyone?

Can we really trust anyone?

Once you have had your trust taken away from you, more than once. It is hard to get back.
When my sister married "D" 13 years ago she really trusted him, we all did. She didn't realise, no one realised, that just after the wedding he would molest myself or my other sister. I was just a little girl and POW!!! Trust gone.

My "outcry witness" (the first person you tell about the abuse) was a girl I met on the net, we were members of a group that was pretty tight knit. She started telling people I had a secret and the told people even though I told her not to tell anyone. POW!!! More trust gone.

My ex-bestfriend believed what I said her ex had said but to stay in the "cool crowd" pretended to believe him...POW!! Trust gone.

Being set-up at work about a doco about mental illness to be shown in Britain, an outpouring from my heart and soul. Only to find out that your big boss had just used that to cover up the fact they were filming "Under Cover Boss" and I was just a distracting pawn so no one would know what was really happening. POW!! Trust gone.

I don't know who to trust anymore...

Then again, I would hate for people to think they couldn't trust me...

T-R-U-S-T - 5 letters that can mean so much...

bleh....

I've been feeling pretty bummed lately. I had my shrink appointment yesterday. It was the first time I walked into Knox City since October, so much has changed.
I still look over my shoulders alot, my shrink said this is normal. I have so much guilt, even though I have nothing to be guilty about - that it's his fault...this feeling is normal too.
Well, I don't feel normal...
It also sucks being "ill". I guess most people think I bludge all day. Well I don't, but it is lonely and it is isolating. When my friends are working, I am just cleaning or doing some mindless crap. I've been helping my sister out a bit with her business, out of guilt for alot of it, I guess.
I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I mean, there are things I would have like to have done (in career and traveling) but I have certain limitations. Which SUCKS!
I pretend I'm fine, most of the time, I'm such a liar. My shrink could tell too.
I have no energy left anymore. The weather in now rainy and cold. I have to make an appearance at Ruby's tomorrow night...Well, I'll have to stick around because I guess I'll be taking my husband and his instruments...
When I get the way I am atm, I tend to savage things. I savaged my hair...no more long locks for Libby. My sister had to fix my hair.
I wish I wasn't on any of my medications. I'm sure it's caused some toxic problem - like skin breakouts and I'm itchy and get sensitive skin too...not to mention the kilos I've packed on. I know my friends turn a blind eye to my weight but I see how other people look at me and it hurts...
I actually felt very suicidal the other day, I'm so ashamed.

Catherine The Duchess of Cambridge wedding perfume

Well we wonder what Catherine, The Duchess of Cambridge splashed herself in for her wedding to her prince.


Well, I will tell you Kate wore, the beautiful White Gardenia Petals fragrance from Illuminum. In keeping with Kate's support of British creativity for her wedding, Illuminum is the creation of British perfumer Michael Boadi, of Boadicia The Victorious range fame.

This is the blurb about the perfume according to the website.


"As fragrant as a bouquet of white flowers, quivering in the gentle April breeze, this is a delicate and nuanced scent. The top notes of gardenia and wisps of lily dance around the heart notes of ylang ylang, muguet (Lily of the Valley) and jasmine, which bring a further trio of white flowers into play. "


Sounds fantastic!!


Can't say that I'm loving the bottle though.


White Gardenia Petals by Illuminum costs £70 and can be bought from www.roullierwhite.com - If anyone would like to buy me a bottle, please go ahead. I would love to have it.


What did I wear to my wedding? I wore Flower by Kenzo that my school friends got me :)

I'm now on a spending ban for a couple of weeks...

Well today started off well. I went to see my friend John at his workplace (Rivers) and he bought me a lovely jacket and some socks. John and I used to work together in a restaurant and I always wore odd socks. The jacket is lovely and warm with fuzzy stuff inside it.

Then as part of my therapy I went to Eastland Shopping Centre. Big mistake. I wanted a to try a new foundation. This happens alot. I went in for 1 thing and come out with 3.

I went to the Clarins counter.
I purchased the Beauty Flash Balm - you can wear this an a foundation primer, use it as a facemask etc. It is actually a great product, I have used it before. Didn't mean to buy it though hahaha.

I also didn't intend to buy the Instant Light Complexion Perfector. I am using shade 2 called "Champagne Shimmer"...sounds delicious om nom nom.

And finally the foundation I bought. The Everlasting Foundation. I was matched to shade 109 aka 'wheat'...hmm does my skin look like wheat? It says it stays on for 15hours and it has SPF in it which I like too. It was marked as full coverage but that generally means medium coverage...but I will find out.

BUT I got a gift with purchase!!!! I got a makeup bag with large samples in it. These samples being

- Hand and Nail treatment cream 30ml

- Gentle Foaming Cleanser (Normal to Combo skin) 75ml

- Toning Lotion (Alcohol free with Camomile) 50ml

- HydraQuench Cream 15ml

- HydraQuench Intensive Serum Bi-Phase 15ml

- Beauty Flash Balm 30ml

- Instant Light Natural Lip Perfetor in 'Reflect Rose' 5ml

Then she started admiring my eyeshadow...so she gave me a sample of their new mascara

- Wonder Perfect Mascara in 'black'

Then we started talking about Mother's Day so she gave me a sample of Vital Light Day illuminating anti-ageing cream.

So no more clothes or makeup for me for a couple of weeks... It's fun getting new stuff and samples too.

Then I was leaving Myer and forgot that I needed to get my mum a Mother's Day card. So I got for my mum and one for my mother-in-law.

Osama Bin Laden

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

--Martin Luther King Jr

The Royal Wedding - best and worst dressed

First, how gorgeous did Kate look, so stunning. Her gown was fantastic and reminded me alot of Grace Kelly's wedding dress.

Sarah Burton at Alexander McQueen did a wonderful job on Kate's dress. Her train was 2.7 metres long (so much better than Princess Diana's extra long train haha). The back of her dress has 58 beautiful buttons. Just gorgeous. I love that Kate wore the 'Halo' tira. Kate borrowed it from the Queen. It was made by Cartier and was bought by King George VI for the Queen mother who later gave it to her daughter Elizabeth 2nd on her 18th birthday.

The Bride's bouquet - designed by Shane Connolly.

The flowers’ meanings in the bouquet are:

Lily-of-the-valley – Return of happiness

Sweet William – Gallantry

Hyacinth – Constancy of love

Ivy: Fidelity; marriage; wedded love; friendship; affection

Myrtle: the emblem of marriage; love.

The bouquet contains stems from a myrtle planted at Osborne House, Isle of Wight, by Queen Victoria in 1845, and a sprig from a plant grown from the myrtle used in The Queen’s wedding bouquet of 1947. 

The tradition of carrying myrtle begun after Queen Victoria was given a nosegay containing myrtle by Prince Albert’s grandmother during a visit to Gotha in Germany.  In the same year, Queen Victoria and Prince Albert bought Osborne House as a family retreat, and a sprig from the posy was planted against the terrace walls, where it continues to thrive today. 

The myrtle was first carried by Queen Victoria eldest daughter, Princess Victoria, when she married in 1858, and was used to signify the traditional innocence of a bride.

One of the best outfits was of course HRH The Queen. Stunning as always.

Her Majesty The Queen is wearing an Angela Kelly designed single crepe wool primrose dress with hand sown beading at the neck in the shape of sunrays. Matching double crepe wool tailored primrose coat.

An Angela Kelly designed matching crepe hat with hand made silk roses and matching apricot coloured lea

And to top it off she wore Queen Mary’s True Lovers Knot broach.

Another best dressed goes to Kate's mum Carole Middleton.

She wore a sky blue wool crepe coatdress with matching satin piping and passementerie at the waist and cuff over a sky blue silk shantung ‘Sydney’ day dress with short pleated sleeves and pleated pockets.  The dress and coatdress are by Catherine Walker. Her hat is by Jane Corbett.

Ok, let's get fun and onto the worst dressed....

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson.... is electric blue your favourite colour? Everything is blue!!!

The cousins.... No... What is with that hat? You are not Lady Gaga!!! As for your sister, Princess Eugenie...eww..You are supposed to be Princesses. Get a stylist.

What nail polish did Kate wear?

That would be Essie nail polish in the shade 'Allure'

All in all...Congratulations to the happy couple.